Karma, Kinship, and Christmas

Exploring our relationships with a loving heart and growing objectivity.

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Michelle x

Yep, it’s a massive time of year. Why not have some family gatherings, sprinkle in some tetchy and/or stressed relatives, alcohol, liberal dashes of opinions (unsolicited) and celebratory chaos for good measure?

So how do we navigate Christmas with an open heart?

Staying open: the path to inner peace. Image by Tamara Menzi

The Complexities of Connection

Our connections are complex. As we grow to understand the metaphysical aspect of our relationships and work to align ourselves with greater truths spiritually, we then need to learn how to apply them.

How to practice what we have learnt and bring a new way of being into the physical.

I’ll be honest: Sometimes and perhaps even most times, it isn’t as easy as it could be.

Yet, our worst relationships, the most damaged, dysfunctional, and painful, offer our greatest gifts of growth.

How can I possibly say this as a truth? We both know there are truly some horrendous relationships out there.

Yet, when we move to the metaphysical for understanding and gather greater, broader, deeper perspective about what has been done to you, or to another, we gain the opportunity to understand the real cause of dysfunction. I can assure you trauma is always behind trauma, in one form or another.

When we develop compassion for the pain that creates pain, it shifts our understanding.

Developing Compassion

Another person’s behaviour always reflects where they are at. This is not to exonerate poor behaviour, but to develop compassion for the shared human experience.

A childhood filled with experiences of pain is indicative of a person who is also here to heal lessons from other lifetimes (whether past or ancestral). Consider it unfinished energetic business. And when another’s suffering impacts you, guaranteed it is not your first cycle through the physical: generally, you and this person have energetic history.

We can continue, lifetime after lifetime in a particular role, each time setting out to create change but thwarted by our freewill. Perhaps the role is victim. Perhaps the role is perpetrator. Perhaps the role is ‘helper’. Perhaps we have played each and every possible combination in an effort to understand the other.

What if this situation is asking you to see it from another perspective, from objective eyes? What if it is asking you to examine your role in this situation?

When we understand our role and realise it is no more than a role in a stage performance or steps in a choreographed dance, we can stand aside and allow the circus to swing on.

When we don’t, we are chained to the experience and will repeat it in various forms until we can become objective, send it love and move on.

How can we end the cycle of suffering? Image by Guilherme Gomes Dos Santos

Breaking the Chain

Recognising patterns requires creating room for reflection.

Find some way for some quiet space, step out of drama and busy-ness to reflect on the life you are living.

Please remember if the following activity doesn’t feel possible or creates a trigger, stop and seek mental health support before you continue.

Write down the major life events you have experienced - a summary not an in-depth examination for this exercise.

The hurts.

The injustices.

The types of relationships you have attracted.

Then write down the strengths you have developed throughout this lifetime and particularly as a consequence of your wounds.

Become objective

• What do you notice? Where are the patterns?

• Now use the mirror and turn it inwards.

• How are you being unjust to yourself?

• Are you honoring your heart by listening to it?

• Do you listen to your intuition, your gut instinct?

• And if not, how does your heart feel being overruled by your head / Ego / beliefs?

• When did you learn to accept these beliefs?

• What if they are only beliefs and that you can put them down and choose something better?

What is the lesson? And it is always about love so don’t allow the Ego to suggest otherwise.

What action is now needed?

Change requires taking action to create a different outcome - forgive the other, forgive yourself, apologise, gently confront, or create space for self-healing.

You may also be interested in the following article:

Navigating the Holiday Season: 3 Steps to Protect Your Peace

A Word on Forgiveness

Sometimes people come up with many reasons why forgiveness is not possible. To not forgive binds us to the other and primarily hurts us. We will return to the hurt again and again, writing and rewriting the wound more and more deeply into our energetic and physical being.

Guaranteed, holding onto anger, resentment and bitterness will hurt you as the Higher Self tries to get your attention through symptoms. This can look like hypertension, inflammation, psoriasis, sinusitis, and more.

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CAUTION: If you suffer physical or emotional symptoms always see your doctor or mental health worker. Then look to the underlying emotional cause.

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Forgiveness and Karma

To forgive means we come to understand the reasons why we invited these challenges in the physical - this lifetime, and what we hope to gain from them. Then we reclaim our sovereignty and return to the unconditional love we are. We learn to forgive ourselves for setting up the framework as part of our Divine life plan and establish (and honour) clear boundaries.

Inner Peace. Image by Colton Duke

Now we know we deserve better - from ourselves.

When we see karma as incomplete energy. we understand it is only perpetuated when we refuse to live in alignment with unconditional love. Finding find harmony allows us to step out of the cycle of suffering.

Practical Application - the Final Test

All of this is well and good - but how will you manage potential Holiday triggers?

We can do the energetic work to create better understanding and forgiveness.

And then we do the work.

All learnings are tested through living and loving.

Rehearse your meeting, noticing how you feel and vowing to keep your heart open.

This can feel like a stretch sometimes. One strategy to hold an open heart that I learnt as a practitioner was to ‘see’ their Higher Self above them, like a chess player, moving them like a chess piece around the board of life. We each have a Higher Self, the part that holds our Divine plan for this life, and it guides us to play our self-designated roles. This Higher part is unconditional love and always remembers we each belong to the greater whole of all that is.

If we can only offer love to this part of another, that is enough for now.

If you are ‘doing the work’ and need specific strategies, you may be interested in the Worksheet below which offers practical suggestions for navigating this holiday season.

Worksheet: Setting Boundaries from a Place of Love

It can help to know we are not alone. I'd love to hear about your journey toward healing and setting boundaries this holiday season. Share your insights, experiences, and reflections in the comments below. How are you navigating relationships with compassion and understanding this Christmas? Let’s continue the conversation and support each other in creating more love, peace, and personal growth this festive season. Please leave names out!

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If you love this, please acknowledge it! A ❤️, a donation, a subscription, a comment. I love that you are here and am blessed we share this journey.

Blessed be

Michelle Cowles

Spiritual Healer, Energy Therapist

You can also find me at www.michellecowles.com

Disclaimer: The information on this page is general, lifestyle information and should not be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease. If this article raises mental health issues, please contact your General Practitioner, mental health worker, or Lifeline on 13 11 14 (Australia) OR find support by country at www.helpguide.org.