No.

It's a complete sentence.

When did ‘no’ become taboo?

And why do we turn ourselves inside out in an effort to say, ‘No, this is not for me?’

I realised today, I have played an uncomfortable role for others all my life.

Michelle, you are responsible.

Michelle, look after your [sister/brother].

Michelle, look after [visitor’s name] until I arrive.

Michelle, you are so capable, I couldn’t do this without you.

Michelle, tell [name] [insert item/information].

Michelle, this [terrible animal husbandry task] must be done … because, yes, I am a farmer’s daughter.

Michelle, take care of ...

Michelle …

‘Be anything you want to be.’ Stunning artwork by Livonne Imagery.

As I reflected

it became clear.

I no longer wondered why

I had no skills to deal with bigger requests and uncomfortable demands.

And the demands did not stop.

I even began to create them for myself…

I have to finish this task.

I have to be [like this].

I have to fit in the next 1, 2 or 5 tasks before I can go to bed.

I have to make time for others.

I have to make this [situation] right.

I have to give others my attention, even when I don’t want to.

I have to make time to [insert social, work or family activity].

And then…

I can’t let [person/committee/work] down.

And the inevitable (with associated feelings of devastation)…

I can’t believe I missed [this occasion/deadline/gesture].

When I let others down I am not reliable.

And, finally the unhealed pattern,

An unreliable person is not a good person.

I am not a good person.

---

Why?

Why did it escalate into exhaustion? Exasperation?

Because it needed to.

As a healer, I have had hundreds of lifetimes perpetuating this taboo, forgetting that I matter.

Forgetting I am infinitely worthy of allowing others to be in charge of their feelings, problems, solutions.

Forgetting that my boundaries help others stand in their own power, to learn, grow, and evolve.

Forgetting that imbalanced patterns were only ever invitations to grow the strengths I needed: integrity, responsibility, compassion, courage to speak, healthy boundaries.

And now,

I choose me.

No.

If you love this please click the ❤️, subscribe, share, or comment. I love that you are here and am blessed we share this journey. Let’s grow together.

And I wish for you to choose you too - in your Divine Right timing.

Looking for support to unlock your voice?

Unlock Your Voice: A Meditation

With unconditional love.

Blessed be

Michelle Cowles

Lightworker

Copyright © Michelle Cowles 2025

You can also find me at www.michellecowles.com

Disclaimer: The information on this page is general, lifestyle information and should not be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease. If this article raises mental health issues, please contact your General Practitioner, mental health worker, or Lifeline on 13 11 14 (Australia) OR find support by country at www.helpguide.org.