Hurt me Once, Shame on You...
Shame and guilt are age-old teachings. Maybe it is time to understand the cycle of pain, its purpose and how not to miss the message.
Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me. ~Anon
This adage is a version of “He that deceives me once, it’s his fault; but if twice, it’s my fault,” which first appeared in written records as early as 1651 in The Court and Character of King James, by Anthony Weldon.
Earth’s energetic discord is made up of many low vibrational beliefs, however, many are currently working to release the discord created by shame.
Consider when the emotion of shame is evoked:
For making a poor decision.
For getting something ‘wrong’.
For having discredited reputation.
For behaving outside of accepted norms.
Shame is an inherent part of culture - taught and handed down from one generation to the next. Can you imagine that a babe, with the pure energy of the innocent is actually born with the notion of shame? Perhaps in cellular memory but in the present it simply isn’t possible.
It has its roots in religion as a means of manipulating the populace to behave in a certain way, allowing the masses to be controlled. And this is not necessarily all bad: many of the teachings support harmony, for example, to do unto others as you would have done unto you.
The problem occurs when conditional love is applied. If you don’t do unto others with love and kindness (presuming that is what you would like for yourself) you are committing a sin and should be ashamed of your actions. There is not much wiggle room for learning through experience.
Sin being unacceptable, damning, and to be rejected is a torturous notion which has been traditionally wielded by those in power to force compliance. As a vibration, it has caused many souls to lose their way, believing they are unworthy as ‘sinners’. Unsure? Sin and unworthiness feature in the major theistic religions, where sin is a human flaw that implies guilt and offends God. Therefore, if I make a ‘mistake’ or a decision that is not as good as it could be, I am flawed and offensive.
Another Perspective
If we are all energy, unlimited, indivisible, infinite, then how is God separate? Are we each not God? And as God, why would we want to punish ourselves for our purpose in the physical - that is to have a range of experiences?
What if we step away from the notions traditionally used manipulate with conditional love and resulting shame, and see this emotion for what the low vibration limitation it really is.
What if each experience is merely an opportunity to apply our Free Will, to learn, grow, evolve? And if we continue to see ‘mistakes’ as defining who we are, how will we maintain our enthusiasm for exploring the rich pageant that is a physical life?
How Does it Serve?
To untangle it ask yourself:
Do ‘Shame’ and its Best Friend ‘Guilt’ Offer any Growth or Benefit?
As emotions they sit as the lowest end of the Map of Consciousness scale in polar opposite to peace and enlightenment, fostering blame and humiliation. Meaning, while we hold this vibrational state by believing in them as powerful and valid, we continue to attract low vibrational experiences.
**Note- ‘evil’ in the Life View refers to the degree of unhealed energy and how it is perceived rather than literally. All emotional states are valid and we aim to heal with love rather than rejection.
When asked if they offer any benefit, some might say, “Yes, the benefit is they show me not to repeat the experience”, as if repeating a mistake is, well, a mistake. Which fits with the teaching of ‘hurt me twice shame on me’”. It also suggests that learning requires punishment.
And I would ask,
Do you need to hold onto either emotion to remind you to value yourself more, and to remind you that you are infinite and Divine energy in a human body having experiences.
What would it mean if you could simply trust that you will come to realise the message/learning/growth from these experiences in your right timing, even if it meant repeating an event several times (like learning to tie shoelaces)?
And what would it mean if other’s opinions about your learning is none of your business?
What if others expressing an unsolicited opinion about your life journey is just a distraction from focusing on their own work?
What if the misdirected focus is the other’s Higher Self showing them they need to look at their judgment - of themselves and of others?
Does it matter if they use your actions as a distraction from themselves, trusting they will come to recognise this in their own Divine Timing (or not)?
What if you are one of the Light Workers here to remember through experiences that you have chosen to come into the physical to heal shame and guilt for yourself and for all?
And what if shame and guilt sit energetically and cellularly at many levels, requiring a series of reminders through repeated events until you clear all that you have chosen in this lifetime?
What if feeling shame and guilt is simply a reminder to rewrite self-accepted limitations and rise beyond them into love and acceptance for ourselves and others?
The Cost of Believing in Shame and Sin
When we are indoctrinated with the belief in Sin we can forget our Divine self and connection to All that Is. In the physical, believing our low vibration experiences define us holds us in the cyclical pattern of a low vibration life view. What we focus on we draw to us.
Eventually the feelings of unworthiness can interfere with our immediate return to Source, as we cross from the physical to the non-physical, by causing our energy to be distracted, overly focusing on our flaws in the physical and seeking absolution. When this happens we don’t recognise the light that seeks to guide us to Source. Instead, entangled in a low vibrational plane that matches our beliefs, we become caught in a ‘purgatory’ of our own making - another notion exploited by religion, used fearfully and as a device to control.
Note: Please don’t hold fear or concern for those who have become ‘stuck’ - that is one of the reasons why we are here as healers and Light Workers, healing overtly or subtly simply by being in the physical at this time.
Further, believing in our emotions as defining us causes us to pass this trauma down the line. When do we decide to choose something better? The simple answer to that question is when we are ready.
Hurt me once and you show me what I need to heal within myself, whether a trauma trigger, or to create a healthy boundary.
Hurt me twice and you still show me what I need to heal within myself.
Hurt me three times - It is still about me and I am still learning.
Hurt me four, five, six or more times, you are continuing to be my mirror, showing me what I need to heal in my Divine right timing.
How do we know this to be true?
When others do hurtful things and we recognise their behaviour as a reflection of who they are, and we are no longer triggered, finally, we have healed our own wounds.
Remember we have no control over others. We do, however, have control over our own behaviour, what we choose to engage with, and our own healing.
All in Divine timing.
Blessings
Michelle x
Michelle Cowles
Spiritual Leader/Teacher/Learner
Copyright Michelle Cowles 2024
Disclaimer: The information on this page is general, lifestyle information and should not be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease. If this article raises mental health issues, please contact your General Practitioner, mental health worker, or Lifeline on 13 11 14
Simply ‘wow’. So beautifully and succinctly written Michelle.
And once again, speaking to me 🙌🏻