Ugh. Ego why are you...

being such a [%$^&] ?! Busy brain / Ego / Conscious Mind you have a lot to answer to. Oh, wait. I'm in charge of my thoughts... An open conversation between Ego and the God Self and the real question.

I go to sleep with the euphoric feelings associated with Dr Wayne Dyer’s 5 minute meditation, a Divine reminder that our thoughts are powerful and we choose how we wield them. This meditation gently separates thoughts (Ego) from the real self, the infinite spark of Divine energy that we are, residing for a time in the physical body. And it always leaves me feeling the love.

Remember the light within. Image by Salah Ait Mohkatar on Unsplash

This morning I woke feeling irritable, headachey, and focusing on some of the work I am doing in a negative way. I don’t understand - I was ‘marinating’ in the good feels for 8 hours?! (Listen to Dyer’s 5 minute meditation to understand the reference!) I shoved the feelings aside and force myself outdoors for a walk to re-start the day.

And the dialogue begins:

Ego: I’m sick of it.

Self: Sick of what?

Ego: Of things not being clear, or what I want not happening. I do and do, and nothing changes.

Self: Don’t you mean, be and be. That’s the whole point of what we are ‘doing’ at the moment.

Ego: Yeah, well I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work.

Self: How do you know?

Ego: Hmm, it’s just long enough now.

Self: Nice try. You don’t get to be in charge of Divine timing.

God-self: Good one. That plan was laid out long before the physical experience.

Self: God-self, is this an energetic shift that the Ego is reacting to? Or is there something more?

God-self: Shifts and changes require unravelling. The energy of what was needs to be untangled and that is uncomfortable.

Self: So was that what the headache was about this morning?

God-self: Yes, and no. Allow yourself to hear the real answer. There is a whole lot of resistance going on mentally, you need to heal guilt. There is no need for holding onto this old emotion.

Self: I thought that was released? Ego? Why the resistance?

Ego: You are responsible for your actions. Be responsible.

Self: Oh wow! (Astonishment and disbelief mixed together over this old chestnut.) Yes, I am responsible for all my choices but I have no need of beating myself up about them. And I have most certainly come to understand that I need to respect other’s choices. Learn and move on, right?

Ego: Hmmmph.

God-self: Softly, gently Michelle. Use it or it will use you. Make a decision to love the emotion, the Ego, all of it and it doesn’t matter where it began or where it hides. Love it all and move on. This is simply another opportunity to evolve.

---

Satisfied, I stop and reflect. So, I created this - in this and other lifetimes. Simple energetic cause and effect.

Ignite. Image by Bastien Herve on Unsplash

Anything that is not unconditional love for self or others is unhealed - regardless of the type of being, role played in any lifetime, situation, circumstance, or where it sits on the Divine tapestry thread we weave in and out of every point of our existence.

Conditional love is not who we are as Divine Beings

Holding onto guilt is akin to self-flagelation and totally misses the point that every ‘mis-step’ taken is potentially our teacher, guiding us to something better. It also fails to acknowledge that we each agreed to play certain roles, not just for ourselves but to benefit the other’s growth as well. There are no mistakes and the only ‘cure’ is unconditional love.

HEAL AND CLEAR:

And so, to each and every being I have ever hurt and at every energetic point I humbly ask for forgiveness. I also forgive you. I respect our learnings and also forgive myself for creating the dynamic, regardless of the reason or role. And I call on Source and my Higher Self to bless, heal, repair and transmute guilt from every point, raising the vibration to Christ Consciousness and restoring Sacred Geometry to 100% optimal.

As above, so below and so it is.

Amen / A Ho / Namaste

Convinced?

I move on with my day, occasionally returning to the day’s start and conversation. What am I missing?

As the evening wears on, Blaze Bright?! from The Universe in Substack pops into my feed with the message not to dim your light for yourself or anyone and suddenly the niggle comes to mind. And here it is:

Under every imbalance/sabotage is a belief that while it might be holding us back, there is an equal force that we identify as a gain. What then do I gain from guilt?

How bright do you dare shine? Image by James Hardman on Unsplash

Bingo!

I return to God-self’s answer - Yes and no. So there is still more to unravel but only if I allow myself to hear the real answer. Guilt can create constant self-sabotage and reveal a surprising egotistic belief that ‘it’s all about me’. This latter Egoic notion occurs because we forget that we have made agreements with those we engage with. We then seek to punish ourselves for our behaviour instead of finding the lesson (even if that lesson is to love and step away) or identifying a better choice and moving on.

So back to the second part - to hear the real answer.

What if not fully releasing guilt prevents me, us, from stepping fully into our purpose?

What if this sneaky little grief keeps me, us, wound into a tight ball and prevents expansion? (Ego’s definition of ‘safe’.)

What if, by failing to fully address and release it, I, we, accept that we are not to achieve our potential? That we won’t shine too brightly.

Why does that feel comfortable, Ego?

And do I, we, really want to dim our light and purpose?

What if we tap our unlimited potential? Image by Isabela Kraus on Unsplash

Repeat… or Choose Something Different?

Something tells me that I, we, have done this many times before. This fear - fear of failure, fear of punishment, fear of isolation… has won, succeeding in keeping me, us, small, lifetime after lifetime. There is no change in that. And that is not why we are here in this lifetime. So, boots and all, I gather courage and I’m in.

1. Do I choose to dim my light for myself or others?

2. What will I gain by doing this?

3. What will I gain by choosing to blaze?

It’s up to me to decide… and it is up to you too.

I believe in us.

Blessings

Michelle x

Michelle Cowles

Spiritual Leader/Teacher/Learner

Copyright Michelle Cowles 2024

Disclaimer: The information on this page is general, lifestyle information and should not be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease. If this article raises mental health issues, please contact your General Practitioner, mental health worker, or Lifeline on 13 11 14 (Australia) OR find support by country at www.helpguide.org.