Trade Offs and Limiting Beliefs
Why do we accept less for ourselves than we deserve? A look at common sabotage patterns and activities for self healing.
What are the hidden trade-offs for holding onto a limiting, sabotaging behaviour? And yes, there is always a trade-off or secondary gain. One of the most common limiting trade-offs is the fear of losing our support group, even if they represent conditional love.
Why do we Sabotage Ourselves?
The truth is this risk is real. If we have created friendships based on a common sabotaging activity, these friendships may not survive a shift. And that is okay. When we dig a little deeper we understand that when we hide behind a mask of alcohol/other substance/behaviour, we are energetically blocking true connections - including the relationship we have with ourselves.
Let’s stay with examples a little longer to understand what is really going on. We create unhealthy habits or addictive behaviours for a number of reasons. Metaphysically, we may need to learn to stand in our power and embrace our true selves in this lifetime.
Anatomically and behaviourally, we may be replicating a soothing mechanism we learnt as infants to calm the nervous system. The fundamental ways we comfort ourselves are generally transferred subconsciously from mother to infant.
An Important Message about Guilt
Remember please mothers/caregivers - ancestral imbalances generally replicate past life imbalances and are part of our divine life plan. Children choose their parents for a reason - even if that reason is primarily to heal trauma and reinstate emotions as guidance.
Let go of the guilt - most of us as mothers have taken on guilt from the moment and even before our child is born. Please ask yourself how holding onto guilt benefits you. It truly does not serve when we understand each of us is operating according to our Divine plan.
All is Divinely guided and works out as it needs to.
And so it is.Our bodies searching for reassurance and comfort when in distress will generally return to the first point of contact. If our caregiver was unavailable because of their circumstances, or mental / emotional availability, our default setting becomes to search for something outside of ourselves to soothe our emotional discomfort. In 98% of humans this is related to stresses experienced and processed by our mothers in the second and third trimester of pregnancy. So if the mother uses something outside of themselves to self soothe, whether food, alcohol, caffeine, etc, the infant will also associate something outside of themself to regulate emotional imbalance.
The foundations based on a trauma are now set.