Holding On vs Letting Go
When the gurus say 'Let it go' what exactly are they talking about? I read it. Hear it. Tell it to my busy brain. Sounds good, but I need to understand a concept to apply it and maybe you do too.
Let it go
This little phrase is everywhere in my awareness right now - it pops up in all kinds of random places to catch my attention: media, conversations, Spotify or shopping centre music, a line in a book. Such a simple phrase, yet why the need for repetition?
Holding On
Perhaps the best way to understand letting it go is by exploring what it is we are holding on to.
Expectations…
have trade-offs.
When I say to myself that I need to behave a certain way, think a certain way, dress a certain way, present myself as having a certain place in the world, connect a certain way, feel a certain way, etc, I am off-centre.
The clue is in ‘need’, or ‘must’, or ‘should’.
Our True Being …
is love.
We are born trusting that we are enough as we are.
There is no judgment in the eyes of a small child. We are born accepting others without condition or qualification.
Yet accepting social conditioning is part of the process of childhood. No need to judge this either.
As energetic beings coming into the physical we know we will have a range of experiences that create contrast. We also know, despite the heaviness and illusions we create in the physical, these experiences will guide us to apply our freewill to once again choose unconditional love.
Conditional Love
When I [INSERT QUALITY OR BEHAVIOUR] a certain way, I will be loved and accepted. Dig deep - this little gem sits beneath most of what we do. It lives buried in ‘if I do this… I am a good person’ or ‘I will be seen as a good child’ or ‘a responsible parent or good citizen’ and so on.
Unconditional Love
I respect that you have your own Divine plan and need to have certain experiences to evolve.
As do I.
You are a complete and unique Soul in your own right.
There is nothing you have done or will ever do that is not part of your evolution.
Nothing.
It does not mean actions are without consequences but can we still love and accept the process and ourselves within it?
Change
When I decided to be kinder to myself and begin to end internal judgment (belief in failure vs understanding experiences do not define me), my relationships and life improved.
Real Change (A Healing)
That tangle of emotions that sits somewhere in your body when someone dear to you makes a ‘wrong choice’ or anyone who comes into your awareness behaves less than desirably - is your trigger point.
Explore it if you need to.
What is this feeling and why is it here?
Or/and,
Then breathe into your chosen part of the body. Imagine it filled with a healing light (trust the colour that comes to mind - your body knows what it needs to be unlimited) and breathe this light in, dissolving and releasing the feeling on the out breath.
Feelings only ever ask us to feel them and create opportunities to gain a new understanding.
New Understanding
I understand we all evolve from our experiences.
When I (and everyone) have the right number of uncomfortable experiences I recognise I can choose something better.
What do I choose for myself?
Can I honor my feelings instead of limiting myself by trying to avoid feeling?
Am I willing to step out of someone else’s story?*
Can I keep my heart open?
*Many of us as parents will be saying, ‘but what if’ right about now. Watch for the next article on how to support yet allow our children to have their own experiences.
Ways of Being
This is how life is.
This is the way we have always done it.
Children just need to learn to get on with it and fit into society.
Work hard to get ahead.
[Insert your story here]
But what if it isn’t? What happens if we decide we deserve better and choose something different?
I choose my focus to create life as I wish it to be.
Change and evolution are part of our purpose - just because it always was does not need to define how it always will be.
Children are the changemakers, the reminders to return to unconditional love.
My experiences are part of my guidance.
When I follow my guidance, life flows with ease and grace.
Holding On
Holding tightly to ‘what was/is’ will not keep us ‘safe’ nor protect us from more of the experiences we have decided we dislike.
In fact, it will do the opposite and draw more of what we dislike to ourselves to show us what we don’t need.
Letting Go
Inspiration comes from change.
Daydreams foster possibility… and both need space to manifest.
What if the most significant ‘letting go’ is the idea that you need to be busy?
Lie on the grass and ponder the sky.
Sit in a beautiful space and quietly enjoy how it feels to let tension move from the body.
Notice the breath, and hold gratitude for the power of the body to offer the blessing of time in this physical space.
And let in the love.
You are the blessing
Michelle x
Michelle Cowles
Spiritual Leader/Teacher/Learner
Copyright Michelle Cowles 2024
Disclaimer: The information on this page is general, lifestyle information and should not be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease. If this article raises mental health issues, please contact your General Practitioner, mental health worker, or Lifeline on 13 11 14 (Australia) OR find support by country at www.helpguide.org.
Acceptance
Self-criticism
habits that no longer serve