Energetic Exchange
You are not here to empty yourself: There is a cost for unequal exchange and not only for the givers, the light-bringers, the empaths. Each of us a part of the holy cycle of giving and receiving.
Energetic Exchange and Balance: Why it Matters
Energetic exchange is about balance — between giving and receiving, effort and appreciation, value and respect. And it isn’t just between people, but between us and Mother Earth, and all sentient beings.
When one consistently gives, and the other consistently receives; or, when one consistently takes or accepts from another without reciprocation, the giver becomes energetically and then physically depleted.
To give and allow ourselves to receive in roughly equal amounts, creates balance and is part of our nature. As a toddler, my grandson proudly gifted me a leaf and a stone. What treasures! And how precious to receive from such innocence.
Sharing is a beautiful way we support each other.
Yet the need to share is often something I discuss with those of us who enjoy being needed or enjoy helping others when it creates imbalance in our lives.
And so I’m not saying giving is flawed.
But I am talking about why we give and give and give - for whatever reason.
Why we Give
It might look something like this:
“I love to help others” - fair call, and do they need your help? Is the help something they could or should probably be doing for themselves?
“I feel good when I help others” - again, nice one! Yet, the same as above applies plus we need to ask ourselves, can we still feel good about ourselves when we don’t help others?
“If I say ‘no, others may not like me, or include me” - this is a real Egoic fear. It is connected to the belief that we are not worthy of unconditional love. That we are not worthy of love without conditions attached. And please take a moment to remember where you learnt conditional love. Acknowledge it and let it go, dear ones.
“Others need me to help them.” Are you sure? A couple of possibilities might be going on here:
Have they maneuvred themselves into a difficult situation that is asking them to come up with their own solutions? We aren’t here to ‘save’ anyone. Not sure? Guaranteed if we are interfering with someone’s learning in this lifetime, the problem will escalate into a blatant pattern before your very eyes. Step away, my friend.
Or
Worrying about others’ needs might be preventing you from looking at your own ‘stuff’. A busy brain is very good at deflecting from sorting out our own emotions.
Can we let Ourselves Receive?
And this leads us to the impact of over-sharing, giving, and not letting ourselves receive.
Emotionally, we can begin to feel undervalued, not appreciated. And perhaps at our core we don’t believe it is okay to put ourselves first. There is always a precedent for this absence of boundaries.
Physically, we begin to feel exhausted, that there are never enough hours in the day, especially when it comes to prioritising our own needs.
Spiritually, our aura begins to look like Swiss cheese. Every time we allow ourselves to give without exchange, it is as if our energy is being siphoned off.
If we continue to diminish ourselves, eventually, the greater part of ourselves will step in with a grand STOP, whether via a significant life change or health issue.
The Cost of Non-Reciprocation
When someone continually receives energy — in the form of advice, emotional support, healing, creative inspiration, or knowledge — without giving anything in return, it may not seem harmful on the surface. But over time, it creates a subtle imbalance that can affect the receiver as well:
Energetic Dependence: Constantly taking without giving can create a reliance on others for energy or insight, weakening one’s own sense of agency or inner resourcefulness.
Entitlement Patterns: Without awareness, the receiver may begin to expect support without recognising its cost, leading to unconscious entitlement or devaluation of the giver’s energy.
Blocked Growth: Reciprocity — even small acts of gratitude or contribution — creates a flow. When that flow is one-sided, it can actually block the receiver’s own growth, creativity, or abundance because they’re not actively participating in the energetic cycle.
Loss of Connection: Relationships built on one-sided energy exchanges often weaken. The receiver may feel confusion when the giver pulls away, not realizing the imbalance has pushed them to protect their own energy.
Being Aware of Balance
In relationships between people, when both parties are aware of energetic exchange, they can:
Recognise that knowledge, guidance, and emotional presence are forms of energy.
Understand that "free" isn’t always truly free — it still costs the giver time, effort, presence and energy.
Offer something in return — gratitude, compensation, referrals, support, or even just respectful boundaries. The barter system we once relied on worked for a reason!
In our relationship with Mother Earth, her resources and other sentient beings, balance is created by respectful consumption (or non-consumption) and gratitude for the gifts from our non-human counterparts.
Energetic exchange isn't about guilt or rigid rules — it’s about mutual respect. When we approach interactions with awareness, generosity, and integrity, we create healthier relationships and a more sustainable flow of energy — for everyone involved.
Benefits of Balanced Energetic Exchange
When energetic exchange is balanced, everyone thrives.
The giver feels appreciated, valued, and inspired to continue sharing from a full cup. The receiver benefits not only from the energy offered but also from being part of a mutually respectful relationship. Balanced exchange fosters trust, genuine connection, and growth. It invites both parties into an active relationship with energy — whether that’s through time, gratitude, payment, kindness, or service.
This harmony creates space for abundance, healing, and empowerment, reminding us that energy is not a commodity to hoard or be scrolled past — it’s a living force to be honored, cycled, and shared with intention.
The need for this conversation came about via several avenues. My wonderful healer who cheered me for paying by direct transfer for a session before I attended (I realise some collect automatically at the time of booking, but she trusts the old-fashioned practice of manual bookings). This wise woman commented on the positive energy my action created as I acknowledged her worth up-front.
A Tap on the Shoulder
I had an energetic tap on the shoulder some time ago, forewarning me that a return to paid subscriptions was coming. I resisted. I want to share the positive energy from the articles and meditations I channel and write with as many people as possible. I was assured that this was well and good but reciprocation was not occuring and so I doubled-down on requests for clicks of the heart, shares, comments, etc.
To each of you who have responded: the subscribers, the regular commenters, clickers, sharers and recommenders, I cannot thank you enough. I also want to specifically thank the paid subscribers who still believed in the worth of my work when I was offering free access to all but the e-books. A paid subscription is literally ‘bread and butter’. Deep, deep gratitude, dear souls, for believing in what I do and financially supporting me to do it.
Then, within days, several articles popped up in my feed - other writers who are commenting on reciprocation - 3? Divine Synchronity is always at play!
I love ’s notion of supporting each other in her note encouraging well known authors to “pay some of that money forward to support lesser known writers with a paid subscription”. And the beauty is we don’t need to be a writer with 1000s of subscribers to do this.
Dea Davida’s nudge - we get what we need, when we need it - shared in her fairy godmother note: "Start your paid subscription, people need your words" ...and then [she] actually subscribes first.”
Dr Bairavee The Sky Priestess who writes in Jupiter squared Ceres:, “I am going to ask you to step out of the conditioning that tells you to keep taking without fair exchange.” Oof!
And I won’t turn this into a subscription push.
I do want you to know I hold the deepest gratitude to all readers and subscribers to Love is Divine, and especially paid subscribers because for many, times are tough.
There are also those who regularly comment, like, share and recommend; my human self so appreciates you! Thank you!
I also want to honour my work and while I know that a good part of what I do is to share the energy of Divine messages. Whether they are read or not is irrelevant to this work, however, the human part of me gets excited when there is a click, a share, a subscription!
Other Ways we can Balance the Energy Ledger
A comment, click of the heart, share, a private message, subscription, follow, restack, or a one off financial contribution are good but not the only ways we can support writers.
As a writer and reader, I look for opportunities to support the writers whose work resonates. I value our community and want them to know they and their words matter to me.
Many recoil at direct connection - and the resistance is real.
If you feel resistance to being ‘seen’, I get it.
When we comment on another’s writing, to show appreciation, consolidate our understanding and gain deeper understanding of others’ perspectives - to put ourselves out there - there is always a risk there will be misunderstandings or miscommunication. That is part of being human: to engage and to still hold respect for another.
I don’t always get it right.
Clear communication and the vulnerability of growth can take effort and a humbling of the ego - especially in a written medium where we cannot rely on physical clues.
It means loving myself enough to create space for others’ right to their truth without needing to feel diminished, or to challenge to reinforce my convictions. Sometimes I am better at this than others - and every time I engage, the ‘unconditional love muscle’ is tested and strengthened.
And I remind myself: it is always worth it.
Don’t miss the opportunity to evolve!
And can I Walk the Walk?
At this stage, I would need a loan to subscribe to every writer I admire.
What I can do is share their work. I can engage. I can click the heart and show them I am reading. These are all energetic exchanges that don’t involve financial contribution.
Perhaps I will adjust our subscription to the Fred Hollows Foundation to allow me to fund more paid subscriptions. I say ‘our’ because a good part of your paid subscriptions currently helps restore eyesight for the most marginalised through the foundation.
Or perhaps I just need to hold faith and commit to supporting another with a new paid subscription for every 5 paid subcriptions to Love is Divine.
What are your thoughts?
Honouring Each Other
In the end, energetic exchange is not just about keeping things even — it's about keeping things alive. It’s how we weave trust, connection, and meaning into every relationship — with each other, with our work, with the Earth. When we honour the value of what we give and allow ourselves to receive in return, we become conduits of abundance, not reservoirs running dry.
So whether it’s through a heartfelt comment, a share, a paid subscription, a simple thank you, a kindness or consideration, or even the old-fashioned barter system, every act of reciprocity becomes a ripple in the greater flow of balance and respect. Let us keep that current moving — with intention, with love, and with the quiet power of knowing we’re all in this together.
Thank you for joining me, I am so glad you are here. If you have enjoyed this article please click the ❤️, subscribe, share, comment. I appreciate you.
Blessed be
Michelle Cowles
Spiritual Healer/Teacher/Learner
Copyright Michelle Cowles 2025
Find more at: www.michellecowles.com
Disclaimer: The information on this page is general, lifestyle information and should not be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease. If this article raises mental health issues, please contact your General Practitioner, mental health worker, or Lifeline on 13 11 14 (Australia) OR find support by country at www.helpguide.org.
Thanks for the mention, Michelle!